Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Randomize
