maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
