This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
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