Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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