your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
you inspire me to be a worse person
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
