I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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