First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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