When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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