You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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