id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
