capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I think i got beer on your cat.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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