we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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