they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Never joke about your clitoris.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
