therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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