im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Randomize