dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Randomize
