Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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