Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
