Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Two words: blizzard sex
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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