He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Randomize
