Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
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