i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
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