The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Everclear isn't food dammit
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
