Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Randomize
