I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
