Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
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