I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
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