I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
