They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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