The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
