so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
