When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize