When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
