The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Do you have feelings for this penis?
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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