what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize