why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
