Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
i will never coherently bang her
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
