so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
