if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
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