woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
