Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
