Me too!
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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