My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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