We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
