Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
