i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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