physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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