you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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