Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
