i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
