Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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