I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
We just shotgunned beers for America
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Randomize
