i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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