he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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