I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
