absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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