I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
