You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
