Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Randomize