can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
