i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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